Reflecting Light:#3 Who Are We...Exactly?

Venetian Mask by ca5per

     I think It's an accurate assumption to make if one where to say that time does not apply to the human mind, but is simultaneously being created and interpreted by the human mind. We created a system that in our own minds cannot possibly make sense to everyone 100% of the time. For example in the mornings when I first wake up time means nothing to me. I have five clocks in my room, three analog one digital. They are placed in the order in which they are meant to be seen, but I never get passed the first clock. Most days I just stare at it, 6:00, 6:15, 6:20, 6:35...then my mom walks in. "What the hell are you doing?" It is at this moment I realize that there is such a thing as time...and I had just missed the bus.

            It's frightening how often I do this. It' almost constant I'd say. I can draw for hours and have it feel like a couple minutes. Do home work for five minutes feels like an hour. Time does not apply to human minds. Once I woke up to a noise I herd in my dream only to hear the exact same sound seconds later. It was a glass braking and my stepfather cussing in response. When I went to investigate, only one glass was broken. Was I really even awake when I herd the nose the second time? Or did I here it when I was asleep and re-synthesize it after I had awoken? I felt like I was in some sort of time shift the entire rest of the day.

            I guess that's why clocks where invented. Unfortunately, my brain lives above such law as time, and thus I am late for events, fail to turn in homework, and frankly don't give a shit about time at all. It's just another part of this big human cage that we're all living in. As are computers, complex shelters, houses, buildings, parking lots, roads, cities, governments, countries, science, religion, each other...all limit our minds into what we can, can't, should, shouldn't, will, and will not do. You can't cut people off when driving to work by spontaneously driving of the road and driving in the median...can you? See thing is you probably could, but your not going to, because driving is for the road right? And the people around you would feel that your a bad person, right? And you just want to fallow the rules, right?

            Ever cut someone in line and not leave even if they ask you to? Turns out it works pretty well. We are all so conformist that when one of us bends the rules the others don't quite know what to so at first. Then when they do realize what there supposed to do it takes yet another nonconformist to actually speak up: "Hay you can't cut in line, it's not fair."....heh heh you know what I said to that guy who managed the guts to say something? "Well life ant always fair is it? Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do? I can brake the rules if I want."...he looked like he wanted to hit me but the thing is boys aren't supposed to hit girls, right? What would all these people think if he suddenly pulled me out of line and began beating me?  I wonder now if that had happened, would people save the criminal because she's a girl, because it's not worth it? Or would they just stand there, and let it happen? Would they come and save me if it had been my father or mother beating me and not some complete stranger? Interesting how society works. I think the hole human race needs a big long nature walk...then a worldwide civil war caused by a sudden burst of creativity...then a zombie apocalypse.

Now it's time for the fun part! The story continues in Reflecting Light #4: Zombie Apocalypse Plan!

COMING SOON!!!!! 

Infinity: Prolog (Unfinished)

 Prolog

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     "You know Infinity, becoming a combative mathematician is serous busyness." said the old professor as his student glared up at him. "But you just want to get to the practice part don't you?" The little boy smiled. "Fine then."

       Infinity stepped out upon the grate wide expanse known as AM2’s elate practice filed.

     “ Now, remember you have been given a privilege coming out-HAY!” Infinity chuckled as he ran out onto the crowded practice field. Thin tubes and planes rushed across the filed as Infinity sprinted effortlessly through the cluttered jungle. 

     The students where studying combative mathematics, a fairly dangerous and destructive branch of the ΑΒΘ military. This was no threat to Infinity however. The students where below him and his power. He could see every one of there attacks clearly displayed on the glowing rings that raped around there bodies. The less advanced students possessed only one ring and the older students used two. One ring held binary code and the other displayed the user's actions.

     "Whoa, kid hold on a second!” Spouted one of them as he grabbed Infinity's sleeve. "You'll get killed if you run around like that!" Infinity looked up at the stranger, analyzing his data with his white eyes. Then, he began typing across the space between them:

     *"Alba Tantic?"*Alba stared at him confused by his lack of speech. *"is your name, NO?"*

     "Can you not speak?" Infinity snarled and his eyes flashed for just a moment. *"ANSWER MY QUESTION!"*He let out an almost inhuman chuckle as Alba fell down onto the dusty filed, kicking his legs in an attempt to flea.

   "Alba!" The old professor croaked as he stumbled onto his feet. "Can you not identify a proper Mercury when you see one?"  

Reflecting Light:#2

     
I felt like writing a brief list of all the things that are stressing me out at the moment:

1. School work/grades
2. My crush
3. Low self esteem
4. Continuous self torment
5. The eminent possibility of developing a genetic terminal illness
6. Poor vision (over the passed four months)
7. Being stressed out *...*

Reflecting Light

Lighthouse by eamonngillian (deviantart)

Reflecting Light1
     I have found that the young man who I had believed to be in good mental health is still just as fickle and weak as I am. I wish to help him for he cries out for help when given such an opportunity. If he did not desire this then he would (should) refrain from crying out where others may rush to assist him. However, humans do not always think rationally when under stress. I know this from experience. Stress transforms people, they become self destructive monsters eating away at themselves and frightening the people around them. The stress is particularly poisonous to me. My body is an emotional amplifier, and my attention to detail documents things that I could live much more easily without. I unfortunately because of this I cannot simply ignore him as he wishes. I didn’t chose to be like this, sometimes I even wish I could be like the majority of the world’s population; running about giving the normal reaction over the normal period of time. Instead of being like me and having the same old soul sucking thoughts fallow me around, day in and day out.
     I like to lie to myself; it keeps the bad thoughts under quarantine so that I may live my life in peace. But alas, they always come back, usually when I notice something I shouldn’t have. I pray for him even if I am only truly praying to for myself. That’s all that praying is good for. I remember when I first learned the word “hope”. I was waiting for my father to come home and had come to believe that he was never coming back. That’s when my mother explained to me the meaning of the word “hope”. I only just realized why the people of religion pray, it is how they hope. I understand now, that the customs of many religions are built to relive stress. However, in my eyes I see organized religion as a penitentiary, slaving its fallows into a life bent angst there own desires. Thus I fallow my own crooked path awaiting my long anticipated end.
     Life is truly unnerving when you cannot even control your own emotions. I wish to move away when I am older. To a place where my mind can survive without worrying about him, or anyone at all for that matter. I don’t believe there is a heaven and if there is I am certainly not going there. I would rather have my soul destroyed completely then live another life in the clouds where my stressed mind can torture me for all eternity. I may die an early death the way things are going now. My stress has become so painful that my body has become physically ill. I currently weigh approximately one hundred pounds and I am five feet seven inches tall. My vision is failing and I am unable to walk in a strait line. I have become even more revolting then I had been prior to the event. 
     This event has become more and more undefined as my stress continues to trouble me. All I can say now is that this has become progressively worse over the past five months and that I am hoping and praying for it to end.

Future by p r o g f x











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  >>Other images I plan to use when creating a Reflection.<<

 >>They are not captioned because they are not a part of this Reflection<<

>>These images where produced by eamonngillian (deviantart)<<

 >>And I feel that they represent my reflections well<<

 >>Do not ask when the next reflection will occur <<

 >>For I am only able to write about myself when I am amplifying my emotions<<

>>Peace, from your favorite emo child<<

>>Dominika Jacksn<<